Wednesday, January 19, 2011

B.R.I.T.S. Out of Water

Hello good people (assuming someone other than Traci is reading this)!

My Tale from the Bay today has to do with my upbringing. As many of you know, my family is from Alabama and I am the sole native born (former) Floridian. That does not however change the fact that I was raised by my mama in the traditional southern fashion (hence the B.R.I.T.S. - Boy Raised In The South).

So here's the deal, I am having a hard time with the protocol of a commuter train versus my natural instincts as a B.R.I.T.S. The train I take is a direct one into the city with about 12 stops on the way. After a couple of stops, all the seats are taken and there are people standing and holding onto the railing. There are some seats right next to the doors of every car with signs posted stating that those seats are to be relinquished to the handicapped or elderly, but other than those, you're on your own. So when I see women get on the train, especially older women, I really want to get up and offer them my seat. I am actually surprised that this doesn't happen more often, Californians I've met so far all seem to be decent people and it seems like good manners to offer your seat to an older woman who would otherwise have to stand. The problem and one of the reasons I've not yet offered my seat to anyone lies mainly in logistics.

This morning for instance, I sat in an area with two seats facing two seats. After 3 stops, the remaining seats in my foursome were all taken. Eventually there were people standing in the aisle but no one particularly more deserving of my seat than I. Then an older woman got on carrying a large bag. I thought, gee I should offer her my seat, but to do so I'd have to stand up (no easy feat with people sitting knee to knee), get her attention after having to lean around a younger woman (a sort of attractive Asian girl) who I'm not offering my seat to, then shuffle all the people around to get the older woman into my seat (I was by the window). While pulling off that trick, I'd have my ass in one person's face and my crotch hovering over another. Then I had the thought of what I'd do if she said "no thanks" - all that wasted shuffling and ass-facing. So I decided to leave well enough alone. A few minutes later, a guy stood up and offered her his seat. Guess what? She said "no thanks". I guess I just have to let it go and not worry about being a gentleman. I'll still hold the door open for you though.

Now my other problem has to do with the far more lecherous side of my Gemini personality (unless you are a believer in the new astrology math in which case my lecherousness and duality are indefensible). I need to find a way to look at the bevy of beautiful Asian women on the train daily without having to strain my neck. There was a lovely woman of the Asian persuasion on the train this morning in a skirt and faux fishnet tights headed to work. My view was blocked by some FAR less attractive people and short of just pushing them out of the way, I was stuck with an obstructed view. I guess maybe I should bring a book.


  1. hssshhhshshskkkk is this thing on? hello?

    damn do I havta log in?

  2. And a captcha as well? You all must be paranoid.

    And maybe since I was also reared in the South I would have done the same. I've got about 10-15 years more of cynicism (i.e. crotchetiness) on you, so I'd factor in how the exchange would likely affect the riders immediately around you.

    Eventually, I think you build up the same kind of walls that all mass-transit users must. You'll help out when feasible, but realize when the idea as impractical.

  3. By default, those comment settings (log in and captcha) are turned on. I have turned those off just for you Dwayne. :)

  4. Southern Gentlemen of the world, UNITE!

  5. Love the Blog, you guys!
    Conery, your lecherousness and duality are my favorite qualities.
    Congrats on the move and eternal love to you both.

  6. Thanks, Gibs. Miss you both and hope you come to see us soon!!